Ah, Spring!

It felt like summer was never going to come this year, I never really appreciated how amazing that process is. Every plant, animal, microscopic to macroscopic, all emerging out of their dormant states; To Flourish. I also realised while looking at this wise, aged tree that was gnarled and twisted by the elements of being a highway tree, that as much as you feel your world is falling apart life goes on. People living, dying, working, trying. Everyone concentrated in this little prison that they manifested for themselves. But the trees will always bud in the spring, the frogs will croak, Life will continue on its happy, pure course. Life is indifferent to man, yes, but that is why it is so beautiful. To be indifferent to obligation as a fact of life, you cannot tell life what it has to be. But we constantly assume that role, because that's what we have made of ourselves thus far. We are homo-Faber, man the maker, and not that there is anything wrong with that. It is just when we assume that entails us to manipulate any part of the world that much higher than our meaningless, mundane task or whatever demands more of life than is necessary.

Every moment I have alone, when I take a step back from the assorted comings and goings flying past me, I think about where I dream to be. Now that it is ahead of me, I don't know what to do but continue to dream. Its like I have been conditioned so well to impossibility in my life that when it is there I can't help but be astonished . How will I be able to sleep? How will I breath when I see the ocean again? My long lost friend, missed dearly in this crazy position and journey I have gone down. I went into the ocean a different person than I am today, the ocean changed me in the most fulfilling way.

I realized something today that was redundant in a way, but perpetually wonderful at the same time. I love Colorado, in the summer. It is like that moment of barren nothingness, that cold tomb I become sealed in, makes the blessing of sunshine and summer warmth more wondrous to behold. More sights, sounds, smells, feelings, and even tastes flourish in my soul as if my happiness is a young seedling growing exponentially with each new ray of sunshine. The sun shines in summer, the clouds reflect it, the clouds release their joy as well to feed the life below them. Is a rainbow not a brilliant display of the metropolis of diversity that springs forth from its showers of wealth? I am like a farmer that would rather have the diverse crops of the world than the wealth of man.

Who needs money when you have rich soils? That is a joke, but it is also meant to make you think. To change perspectives on what is wealth.

So yes, I will admit it, I will miss Colorado. I realised that when I saw Stanley lake tonight, the wind ripples created in the lake made a perfect illusion of dancing water droplets that I could see all the way from the road. The color of the lake was just like the sky, dark evening blue. The moon was out over the lake but somehow the sun was giving its last showers of light to keep the dusk hue. The mountains were bathed in clouds that were the same color blue so it looked as if you could see the moisture gathering on that rigid granite backbone of the Rockies. I realised for just a second I would miss summers here, when green seemed to take on a more gorgeous hue of life.

And it is with this I do not know what to do, I want to finish school. I desire to satisfy that little dream in my head, to be a professor. Oh its a little dream but it has so much significance. This would mean 6 years in Hawaii, that is a long time. I know I would not forget those friends, but I do not know if they would forget me. I am given the saddest choice I could ever make, to be with the people I love or to follow my dreams. Could they be together? yes, but different people have different dreams. Together yes, but to satisfy the dreams of another you must give up a little of yours. WHY???? Like that moment in the mountains when it comes down to it I love life, so much more matters than some minor obligation, SO MUCH MORE MATTERS. If I could suddenly fly in this moment I wouldn't stay to finish my work, I wouldn't even stay to finish my meal, I would go to those forests. I would fly through the Lianas and skim the mighty amazon river. I would follow it down every cascading waterfall and I would spiral upwards in every valley, valuing every second of being alive, I would be alive. It is no surprise why the birds desire to sing all the time, They dance as well. The best kind of dancing, with no gravity to withhold anything.

"It feels like Earth's gravity, is just here, to pull us down." ~Mudvayne

One of my old favorite bands.

Here are some cool thoughts I had while doing a crapload of work;


"If you want to see an example of mans ego, watch how shocked he will be when after he is gone; life goes on."


"If we lived in a world that was only green in color, would we not have dreams that were exclusively green as well?"