Death

Just this moment I was thinking about what I will leave behind me when I die;  a fairly large corpse, thousands of words,  millions of footprints,  several metric tons of junk tallied up over the years,  a car,  all the money I spent,  all the trash I have thrown away,  the billions of yard trimmings stuffed into black trash bags(which never made sense to me by the way.),  not to mention the thousands of breaths I stole from the world and yet I feel myself wanting more. 

we are all living the American dream;  to leave behind a lifetimes' supply of junk. 

All I really feel like I left behind that is worthwhile is my writing,  my paintings, and my experiences with people.  Sooner or latter we all realise that it all is communication,  a painting left unobserved is like a shout in the wind.  Yes maybe it felt good to shout,  but it would have been better to be heard.  The things that we feel are worthwhile in our lives are the things that impact people,  otherwise it is lost among the pile of rocks and trash. 

Now what does the common deer have to worry about when it dies of old age?  It does not have to have health insurance,  it doesn't have to worry about its children who pranced off into the woods long ago,  it has no heaping pile of trash in its wake;  a deers legacy is simply itself.  A beautiful beast capable of perfect survival for eons.  and it is not stingy with it.  The deer does not care if its legacy gets ravaged by wolves,  buried in dirt and decomposed.  The deers legacy is that it provided vital energy for the creatures around it.  Ah nature,  I envy you.

Stability is something you should never seek in your life,  it is impossible.  Yes I sound absolutely bat shit crazy to say that but it is true.  It is an unspoken agreement that we do not speak of stability in such a way.  If it were up to human beings we would encase ourselves in diamonds to be appreciated forever,  but even diamonds can be smashed to dust in time.  we cannot preach stability when we are living under a giant ball of fire that threatens to explode and dissolve any semblance of a living earth from the cosmic record.  So yes I will say it again,  nothing is permanent.  Leaving a  Legacy is a fools quest for immortality,  I am sure somebody has said that before me.  We should give each other meaning,  because in this tiny pocket of the universe all we have is each other.