The absent minded tripper

So I just realized I had been in this late start class for the past month now and never knew it. I am so absent minded it is dangerous, and a little hilarious. I am in the middle of doing this paper for a class in which the teacher had us sign for our topics and due dates. I wrote down my due date but not my topic. I usually don't even write this stuff down but I saw the girl next to me write it down and thought,

"hey I usually forget this stuff so I should probably write down the due date as well. "

Didn't even think about writing down the topic at all. I then realized the night before it was due that I had no idea what I was supposed to do except for one thing, it had something to do with emotion. So now I will write about emotions and back it up with a primary source. That is assuming I make it through the night, without giving into this inviting dream world creeping down my eyelids. Sleep is the greatest temptation I have that almost always grants me immediate repercussions. I only remember closing my eyes once and now I slept my way through college. Forgetting that I had an English class until a month into the semester and Forgetting the very topic of my paper.

can the grade recover from this? very likely yes. will the teacher forget about this blunder? perhaps. will I eventually forget all this happened when I walk away with the mediocre C? Yes. But I don't want to deal with the stress along the way, why can't I just close my eyes and wake up at the end of the semester? Why can't I close my eyes and wake up when I have graduated? Am I already sleeping? Am I dreaming and when I am on my deathbed I wake up to realize I had gone though my life in a blur and I only had my eyes set in one direction? regardless of the moments I experience in the now I will soon be looking back at them as faded memories. Was I happy overall, had I lived a good life, done what I could? Would everyone watch the slideshow of my life playing to the song time of your life by greenday? Or would they walk out.

I am always living the dream and forgetting it along the way. I am always letting my eyes close when I want to live and run for all I am worth. Always taking the drugs to return to my point of stasis. Always doing what I want and not what could sometimes be good for me. I work more than I go to school, I care more about school than work, and at the moment I care more about what I am going to say to this bi-sexual girl-out-of-my-league tomorrow than this paper that I failed before I was even assigned it. typical guy, I only want one thing right? I wish it was that easy, I really do. But I am this mindfucked nomad on an alien planet, navigating by the stars inside this gurgling, confused mass of emotions. But I can't reveal that on the first date of course, gotta be the smooth jester for these bloodthirsty mantids.