Heroine Happiness

Happiness is the ultimate drug. As a matter of fact we take drugs just to get to it's precipice. Happiness is the drug that keeps us alive, makes us want to stay alive. So why do we have it? Why do we need to survive? Simple answer; We don't need to have a reason to survive. It exists because we are the product of survivors. Reproduction; the ultimate discovery of life. To live on. Not just to live forever but to start over with a blank slate, even better. There is nothing like discovering the grass has always been green on your side of the fence over and over again.

Evolution is not the reason we are alive but rather the product of being alive. But there is one flaw, and when a species can become self aware it is a fatal one. The flaw is extinction. The flaw of extinction for one species is ultimately the gain of another however. New species rise up, as a human being I realise I am starting to forget this vital life force that is nirvana. I must never forget that the reason I am here is not just for myself, but for another. In societies case many others. But ultimately it comes down to the benefit of the child, we all had our turn in the sun, soon it will be time to share that with another. I have often lost sleep from the idea that life is short, not my life, but life itself. All of the birds, frogs, and insects I see outside will come to an end. The whole precious little marble that is earth will shatter and erode into an intrinsic green and blue sand in the blink of a geologic eye. Even afterwards the sand will be washed away and scattered across the vast ocean of space.

I have always thought (or maybe assumed) that being the technologically advanced beings that we are, it is our duty to prolong this inevitability if not try and stop it. That it was our duty to figure out a way for life to go on. I have always been afraid that our existence could be inhibiting for something else, that everything comes at a cost. And while we are running around on our giant round playground, endless entities are suffering. But there is no way to really know, and at least I should not worry because there is not much I could do about that. Let alone if it is in fact not the opposite and our existence betters the universe. Who knows. But the only way for me to find optimism in this subject is to assume that if life were capable of healing itself, it would. It will evolve some sort of gatekeepers, some sort of great animal will be born that can figure this problem out. Figure out a way for divine, non-stop bliss for as long as we see fit. But for now I am born a man, and maybe we were dealt the hand of death.

Assuming the bizarre anomaly that is life only happens once in the universe, we still cannot go without enjoyment. Enjoy yourself no matter what, if it kills you or not. Because in the end that is all that mattered. If enjoyment is something that has to be maintained, held up, like the duty of atlas. It is not joy. That is another realization I had, if there is a god that has to create the universe, then he also has to maintain it. If there are gods then atlas would be the most noble. The saddest fiction of all time is that the one being that deserves happiness the most is also the one with the greatest responsibility to uphold everyone Else's. Is that why people praise this idol as if they didn't the sky would fall down? A noble hero does not want to see the people he saves suffering to please him. He knew what choice he had to make to save us all. Humanity needs a hero, because nobody wants to be the truly noble hero. A hero that achieves nothing but eternal suffering. Christ suffered for a couple days, Atlas suffers for eternity. Who should I praise? Oh wait, I'm missing the point. . . .

Of course if it makes you sleep at night, praise whomever your heart desires. Of course I am not done yet because I have one More thing I would like to say;

What makes life so special? Without the rocks, the elements, the earth, the sky, everything else that is "non-living" we could not exist. What makes us living? That we have this energy to move around? But so do helium molecules and just about all matter (for that matter.) Because we have choice? But there are so many things we do not have a choice in. Just because a fish in a tank swims to the right or the left doesn't mean it has unlimited freedom. An infinite amount of moves perhaps, like a character in a video game floating in space in the center of the screen the only thing that changes in our lives is the scenery. But what's the difference? That is the real question, and it is the question that birthed life, difference, conflict. We compete, rocks do not. Because we compete we change, but rocks change as well. But rocks don't seem to follow the formula of competition. We change for the winning perfection. Rocks simply follow the path of least Resistance. Life resists to persist, like we are all born with a chip on our shoulder. A score to settle with death.

We live on.