Homo sapiens

I have always found it quite interesting that the greatest feeling we can ascribe to life is love. I find it quite interesting that most of us feel like the only way we can satisfy that feeling is with reciprocity of another person. I find it even more incredibly interesting that not only do we believe that this feeling must come from a certain percentage of the population, half to be exact. And as if that was not enough we believe that the only way for this cup to be full is if it is filled by one person and one person only.

Humans love to believe in ridiculous odds, let's face it, statistics isn't the greatest class of all time. It is our love for ridiculous odds that causes most of them to come true. At least . . . . We would like to think so. Optimism is like a Lion, braving the onslaught of reality or even reason to win it's way for the simple sake of itself, happiness feels so good. Very, very few of us feel this benign sensation more than the overwhelmingly mundane feeling of routine. At my happiest moment I could be hit by a bus and not have a painful bone in my body.

It is this benign belief in love against all odds that ultimately grants our wishful thinking. Like a dream all the intrinsic details of reality are cast out from our gaze. Every dream feels so real because we want it to. We meet the one because we wanted to.

In theory if there is only one true soul mate out there for you than that means that there are literally millions out there that are not for you at all. all the horrible relationships that we endure and all the great ones that we lose will pale in comparison to that one stable person. In comparison to who we have been with before, very many people could seem like they are perfect. Wishful thinking can cause mental gymnastics.

Which leads me to my own belief, that every animal wants to have children. No matter what living thing you find alive today, they all want to reproduce. because to put it bluntly, the ones that wanted to reproduce were the ones that survived. And to the next level the ones that desired the greatest partners, got the greatest spawn. . . . . etc. . . etc. . . in a long timeline of an unabashed sexual frenzy. ( oh I know I just sound like the perfect romantic don't I?) Wishful thinking can kill even the best of us, but wishful thinking keeps us alive. At least the survivors anyways.

So in essence, our soul mates are the best of who we find. If we never found our soul mates in our endless search than we wouldn't have soul mates then would we? Yep marriage sucks a fat one we are very aware of that, we have lived under examples of ones. But I can think of something much worse; dying alone. sure single life is great until you are over the hill, soon to face the dark shadow of the valley behind it. Then being alone doesn't seem all that great. Of course there is some hope for all the loners out there (me being one of them.) but it is rather bittersweet. Everybody must die alone, but not everyone has to face it alone. We cannot take our spouses with us and one of us has to endure the lonely life on earth afterwards. That could be the trade off perhaps?

This is where the struggle for all old people comes into play; children. Ah children, considered so pure because they are dumb. Retards are forever pure. I don't know how but I seem to have been lead under the belief my whole life that becoming an adult is when I lose my innocence. That somehow, beautiful things such as sex are horribly, horribly tainted. Well of course adult life is going to suck when you keep being told it will. Living without children is a very noble undertaking and I am in awe of those that can pull that off. Because it is the deepest desire within all of us, because we come from generations

of fuckers. . . . . .

Nature vs. Nurture? Pshhhh. . . . nature wins by a long shot. If there was no "nature" we were born with then would somebody please explain to me what the fuck is a cerebellum??? I believe in that debate we are born with the same body plan as we have always had for 10's to thousands of years (has been proven.) but we are also born as malleable wads of clay, easy to be manipulated for greater things such a rocket science or massive serial killing; Sarcasm if you cannot tell. It is our nature to fuck, took me such a long time to figure that out. Thanks a lot Mom and Dad, my sheltered life has really brought me happiness. Maybe for a young lady it might be better to not tell them this concept but for all the hapless teenage boys out there they need to know why they are going crazy.

The nature to fuck can surpass many things in the animal kingdom, the nature to eat, the nature to sleep, the nature to think (haha, I hope people have read about this one.), even survival, even the nature to breath (if you disagree with this one you haven't had great sex.) Yes, yes, we get it. it is quite debilitating.

Now I am starting to sound real horrible, a pessimistic horny asshole it seems. Although I think it would be fun to leave it at that (especially since that seems to be horribly attractive to some people.) I will now show you Dom the Dreamer. Dom the truly hopeless romantic. I love certain people in my life to death. I would literally stop bullets for them, or at least as much as my ribcage can deflect. But almost 95% of these people I cannot truly get physically close with. That is a whole different level. Within the confines of my mind there is limitless possibilities. I can imagine heavens, hells, earths, galaxies, universes all contained within thousands of pebbles rolling in a sea of chaos. I can imagine all of the traits about me, all of the greatest things my best guy friends or relatives have said. I can imagine all my greatest fears, joys, sorrows as this boundless, fathomless ocean. All of these things about myself seeming so vast, so complex that even I still do not understand them. But what I can't imagine is someone so different, so alien to me it seems like the rain in their minds is purple and flows upward into a beautiful mosaic of lightning and tornadoes. A person that somehow confounds and defies all that I thought I knew about life and turns it onto its head. A completely fresh perspective. Something so relieving in its essence that to simply look into their eyes is to look through the depths of the ocean from the eyes of a bird and at the same time the eyes of a whale. This to me is the idea of the completion of myself, after of course finding out what exactly myself is yet. but that is for another time.