Rain, how I miss you

When was the last time it rained here? Colorado has the exact opposite climate of what I love. It is dry and lifeless here. I love humidty, rain, and moisture. water in general is an amazing element of earth. When it boils down to it (no pun intended), water is almost impossible to describe. How would you describe water to a person supposing it was possible for them to not experience it? As a matter of fact how could you describe anything to a person without relating to experience? A question that I used to always ask was how do you describe to a person who has always been blind, what colour is? What would it be like to be stripped of all of our senses? Would a person still have the capability to think and be as creative as what we presume ourselves to be? Are we really bound by our senses and perceptions that much?

What would happen if a person was born into a world without other people? Would this person desire the same things that normal people desire? Once again it is the question of nature vs. nurture. I also have stated before what if it is a question of nature vs. nuture vs. creator? Or could it even be nature vs. nurture vs. chaos? I am going to diverge for a second on the subject of chaos. Assuming that nothing in the universe was planned for a second. That everything is random, which could be perfectly probable. This would mean that we as humans and life in general is a random product. But I ask the question that if we were to decide between two things, that existance is random or that it is planned, what makes each one more plausible than the other?

I always hear the phrase, nothing rivals that of a childs imagination. What if I was to say that, nothing rivals the imagination of a human? What if I was to say that we choose our realities? The simple fact that we can understand and question our own existence could prove our imaginative powers to be true. If a person wants to believe that they posses something or that anything happens, can nobody but themselves dictate whether or not it is true? This is assuming that this person is alive and able to think these thoughts. Although it is impossible to take away a persons beliefs after they die, does this make them imortalised in existance itself? I would say no, although it is impossible to take away a persons last thoughts or seize control of any persons true thoughts, a person cannot imortalise these thougths into the universe. But what if this person were to pass these thoughts onto offspring? than the thoughts live on. But they seem to have the lifestyle of a virus. Just to inject its thoughts or DNA into a hoast to manipulate it. If the definition of a successful species is to be able to survive long enough to reproduce than the virus has it down to a science. If a persons goals were just to imortalise their thoughts onto the next generation they could very easily accomplish that much.

Thats it! I will tell you on what sort of level I want to change the world. I will tell you my greatest discourse in life! The greatest fears of mine and the greatests plagues as well. Oh how what I feel, feels so pure, so divine, so much higher than what I am. But at the same time it feels like such a burden, a sad realization. I do not want to set a change in humanity, that is something that seems to be answering an answer to an already unsolved question. Perhaps, life is the answer to something. That is what I truly feel. But what is the question? I feel like there is so much to this world than man. I feel there is so much to this world than life. I feel the desire to change existance. I have gotten my chance to do it just like every other living organism before me. All mankind looks like to me is a bunch of failed attempts to find answers. I do not want to change the world, I feel the desire to. I cannot explain it. I just feel the desire to stop this pattern that is life. It feels like this purpose to life to survive and reproduce was just one of several opportunities to take. It feels like I have to do something to change the whole world. Not just this world of the present but to reconcile the world of the past and future as well. If god planted this seed of life what was the purpose for it?

Isn't it strange that every living organism's highest desire is to make copies of itself to vicariously live forever? To give a similar organism like it a chance to do something?

Isn't it strange how this is the only pupose of life? To keep it alive? Why would life desire to stay alive unless it was to accomplish something more? Life cannot procreate for the purpose of procreating again to no ultimate cause, that would be redundant.

If life had the ability to start without the help of a creator wouldn't life not have the need to diversify or procreate? when it just happens randomly anyways?

What if all we are going to become is just some sort of strange "blip" or freak occurence in the random book of time. Like a rare stone or etching in the earth.

Why would life in general stay alive and have the need to make copies of itself to give itself another chance to do something? To stay alive one more time? If not for something.

But yet I have still not answered this question, are we the result of chaos or planned action? When a person tells me, " everything happens for a reason." I cannot help but think, " that is the question isn't it?" because to me both answers are very probable one with just as much credibility as the other.



But I went off on a random string of thoughts here. I was going to talk about how sweet rain is; but that is something that I cannot tackle with so little time. So here are my thoughts on the ocean from a paper I wrote in english, it may be a bit wordy but like going on a journey I sometimes just let my feet do the walking or in this case my mind do the talking:




Now to say that my first experience of the ocean was when I set eyes on it would be unfair and an understatement. The first time I experienced the ocean was when I stepped foot out of LAX several miles inland. I first experienced the ocean when I felt the blast of ocean air into my nostrils.

My smelling nerves went fanatic for this new refreshing smell. It was as if a wave crashed in front of me and sprayed directly into my face. The beauty of this was that the smell never went away and as we serpentined through the busy streets I rolled down the window and, like a dog, put my face out and looked at the tall slender palm trees towering above us as the smell made its course.

After that what prepared me for the smell could never prepare me for the sight of that blue horizon. The road didn’t go directly to the beach and neither did the parking lots. As my mom was complaining about the current lack of parking situation I laughed inside, because that was what I wanted. I wanted to walk outside and soak in my environment first hand. What a dangerous place to be! I would have wandered for miles if my family was not there.

Suddenly we had stopped, we found a spot. Was I really that hypnotized by the wonderful canopy outside the car that I had not realized we had stopped? It didn’t matter because I was ready to go to the beach in a matter of seconds and it didn’t take long for me to be awkwardly running through the sand.

The vastness took a second for me to take in at first and my attention was immediately drawn forward by the loud crash of a wave directly in front of me. As the after burn of the wave seeped at record speed towards my feet I hesitated realizing that I was in my jeans, (oh yah that’s why I got there so fast I just ran with my clothes on!). But I just let it hit my feet. And as if the water vapor in my nose and the spectacle of blues and whites in front of me weren’t enough, the cold water overtook me.

It was going so fast that my feet caused it to spray up my leg and across my body. The best reaction I could muster was a laugh and a giant goofy smile. For a good while I just stood looking at the waves laughing like a fool and absorbing the shock in my body from the cold water. Until I noticed that my feet were completely buried into the sand. Out of complete bewilderment and absent mindedness I fell backwards into the water and gave myself a long soaking ride in the car back to the hotel in a matter of seconds.

I managed to pull my feet out of the sand before the next wave hit and this time I watched my feet the whole sequence. The sand covered my feet and sunk me an inch downward at the same time. What a weird feeling. I watched again after the next wave hit and then I started to notice I could feel the grains of sand rolling over the tops of my feet. How often has that feeling happened to my feet, never?

Regrettably looking at the sand also caused me to notice several other things. I saw these straight lines being etched in the sand after the backwash of the waves like an etch a sketch on overdrive. Waiting for the next sequence I reached down and grabbed a fist full of sand and felt a dozen bugs writhing in my hand. My first reaction was to throw my hand straight into the water and recoil.

As I considered trying it again I already found my hand in the sand having another go. This time I opened my hand and saw the coolest little flea looking crustaceans skipping through the mold of sand in the center of my palm. This was the finishing punch to my brain to knock me out in complete senseless joy.

Pretty soon I was grabbing more sand and collecting the little bugs one by one in my free hand. This was one of those times when I felt that all too common, too good to be true feeling and indeed it was right.

When I finally decided to take a dive forward into the crashing waves I did so with an open mind and an open mouth. Before my legs followed my body into the water I got the most bitter granulated taste in my mouth. Salt! It did not taste of just salt the water also tasted of sand, minerals, and various other things to add to the bitter sting. My head was instantly out of the water and my hands were instantly on my tongue rubbing the nastiness away. It did not take me long to have flashbacks of my childhood friends telling about their visits to the ocean and about how not to taste the water. How could people consider drinking this stuff I said to myself thinking about the survival shows on the discovery channel and how they say not to drink the ocean water even if you are dehydrated. As if that would make you feel any better.

Before I knew it I heard my name being called to the car and I looked back knowing I would be there again even if it killed me.