Ah, wow

comment on these like you did before you knew there were comments. That was awesome. To answer a question, When I said that we would tell him "there is no higher purpose" it was really personal to me so I left out a lot of details but here,

Would I find that higher purpose before I die? Or would I keep searching until I died? To be blunt it would be to say, stop asking questions about purposes and just do something with your life.

to myself of course.

So here is a mistake you guys made by being friends with me,

I have talked about this to one person in the world, and now it will be three. I have recently been as honest as I possibly can with no precaution to my ego, status, ect.... because I thought if I keep doing that, the friends I will get out of it will be the true friends that I need. So although friendships (even marriages) start out with such a bundle of emotions and energy (for example the "spark" in a relationship.) and then they start to fizzle out of our own accord, this one is not going to be like that unfortunatley. Because at least I don't have to be any sort of different person (to the greatest extent I can) when I am with you guys. So its not going to be hard to hang onto you for way longer than standard friendships. (you know what I'm saying? those yearlong friends?) so thats too bad. and I am bad at being outright with my compliments but it is because of that, that you guys are some of the most true friends to my heart. and now its time for some discourse!

p.s. I hope the tone for that wasn't, "aha! you guys fell for my little scheme!" because you guys really are a freak occurance in my life. Keep in mind before powderburn I wanted to see the world burn and I genuinely wanted to do everything from then on, "by myself" but a random string of events brings me here and I am finally a little content with that.